Who Am I & What Does Inspiring Faith Mean?

I am just a regular average gal, who hopes that this blog will maybe just maybe make an impact. I am sure there are other regular average ladies and gents like me who are battling inner thoughts, life circumstances, and maybe feel like they are alone in the world, but the trick is knowing Jesus makes this whole ride called Life a lot more enjoyable.

This blog actually used to be about me ranting on and on, with not a lot of compassion, but with a whole lot of passion. My life has drastically changed since the two years ago that I wrote a post. Why you ask? I wholeheartedly, with no pressure, no expectations, accepted God into my life.
Ya see I grew up with a Christian family, you go to church every Sunday, you learn how to pray, you do things with church kids, you even sing worship songs. This for me was just something I did because Mom and Dad wanted me to do it. Of course, I learned a lot about God, but I did not really understand what a relationship with Him would look like and how to get it. I took everything pretty literally, I thought that when people said listen to God, that He would actually talk to you. So, when I would try to listen He did not literally talk to me, therefore I came to the conclusion that I wasn't sure if He was really there or maybe He just didn't want me. This was especially hard for me since I had already experienced plenty of rejection as a child. Combined together and you have a young girl who doesn't know who she is and believes that she is not lovable.

In High School and College I was really good at distracting myself from the pain with silly boys who were supposed to fill this void I felt in my heart. Every time I got out of a relationship, I got right back into another one, because I wanted to feel lovable. Every time that relationship ended I hated myself even more, because I was rejected again and again. It got to a point where I was suicidal every time, but something stopped me. I felt something holding me back, like a parent in my head scolding me not to do anything stupid. I realize now that it was God telling me No! I literally had a knife to my wrist once and God said NO! I stopped, I cried. Still I was lost. After that incident I stopped dating for almost a year, the longest I had ever been with out a boyfriend. It took me that long to realize who I am, what I deserve, and who to lean on. I figured it out, but it was not just an "AH HA!" moment, it was when I hit my bottom. That bottom for me was degrading myself to a point where I felt like an undeserving whore. Then I felt myself reaching out for God, because I could not do it on my own anymore. I still felt unworthy to Him, I questioned whether He loved me. I still looked to other Christians for reassurance as to if after all my sins (which I confessed to them) could I be loved by Him? Their answer was filled with judgement, awkwardness, and they said yeah sure if you repent. HA! Once again I relied on others and not God to assure me of my identity and of my worth. It is a terrible cycle that I still go through today. I decided to read the Bible and only listen to those whose words were not harmful. In the Bible I found refuge, forgiveness, mercy, and peace.

Romans 8:1 "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."
Ephesians 2:10 "For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."

With all of this stuff I have been battling, my Faith in God tends to waver, because hey I am not perfect. So...
What does it mean to Inspire Faith?
It means something different to everyone, but for me it means to use my story to inspire others to not give up on life, not give up on yourself, especially not to give up on God. Aka have Faith in yourself and God, because He is Good and He created You! I will prove it to all of you non-believers who are interested in this whole God thing. Just wait....

Thank you for reading, I hope you are as excited as I am for my next post.